For couples, fighting is just a usual scenario that may arise wherever they may both be or in whatever situation they are both involved. There are many instances and subjects the couple could argue to. Indeed, no relationship have ever gone through conflicts and arguments.
Many though have misinterpreted arguing as an act which lacks of compassion or consciousness. However, having an argument between couple is somehow beneficial as long as it is kept healthy.
The benefits of having an argument between the couple is that they clear and cleanse their emotional and mental space. While so, arguments set boundaries. Connecting to one’s voice and accepting all emotions are healthier than to avoid things.
However, argument should be done the right way especially between couple. This is how argument could bring people closer. However, when arguments become fights then matters most become increasingly dirty—that is when it could ruin the relationship.
In order to keep the argument healthy, these reminders should be considered and kept to promote a civil instead of a nasty fight:
- Be respectful of each other’s time
Timing is a requirement. When you approach someone for an issue, the time of saying it matters. It is always advisable to check in with your partner to make sure that now is a good time to talk. This establishes that even when you have something to discuss, you are respectful of the other person and their time.
- Watch your words
The only reason why arguments turn into fights is because of the words that we use. In most instances, the response or how the idea is presented becomes offensive.
When you open up something, be sure you present it in a way that does not trigger a defensive response. In this way, the result would make the partner responsible for the behavior or of the conflict. More to that, presenting it properly would give you a space to have your feelings heard.
- Stay on Topic
The fault that could always arise in an argument is delving into the past. Usually we tend to go out of the topic or main issue and eventually traverse the past experiences mixing it to the present. This ignites the argument into a fight. Sticking to the issue at hand could solve the issue.
- Don’t give ultimatums
We set boundaries even in relationships. But as you have set yours, remember also that your partner has their own as well. Most of the time in an argument, we tend to demand from them to do something instead of requesting them or asking them.
When we request something to fix a conflict, this is not a struggle but for people to work together in helping a relationship reach its fullest potential.
There is no perfect relationship. Every couple goes through a struggle, but the secret of having a healthier relationship is having a healthier argument instead of fight.
Source: http://www.yourtango.com/