Breakups are painful. If you experience it before, you know what I exactly wanted to tell you. The feeling of losing someone you sincerely love is not a joke to your life- you get depressed, and get hurt along the way when you want to get over with them.
But leaving the past and forgetting the memories you two enjoyed is not that easy. You can’t help but accept the fact that he/she is gone and that is very disappointing truth. You can sometimes no longer control the pain and cried until you lose all the tears filled in your eyes.
The real question is, how we can get over the pain with that devastating break-up? We heard a lot of advice from our family and friends, but according to science, here’s how to deal with it.
Wallowing is necessary.
According to a study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, taking time to reflect on a recent breakup can actually help you heal faster. This means commiserating with others over ice cream group therapy can be a good thing. As long as you’re thinking/talking honestly about what went wrong, and not just stabbing voodoo dolls.
The pain is real.
Saying your heart hurts doesn’t make you a wussy. In a 2011 study, researchers had participants look at photos of exes while monitoring their brain activity. They discovered that the images activated parts of the brain usually associated with physical pain. So it wasn’t that surprising when another study found taking some Tylenol will probably help.
Your mind is broken too, not just your heart.
When you’re in a long-term relationship, your biological rhythm is synced with your partner. When they suddenly disappear, studies have shown it can throw off your entire physiology, disrupting your sleep, appetite, body temperature and heart rate. No wonder the brains of the heartsick can resemble the brains of those experiencing cocaine withdrawal.
Take good care of yourself.
Since breakup pain is a real, it can affect your daily life in powerful ways. Which is why it’s doubly important to take care of yourself, just as if you were sick.
Don’t go for the easy fix.
Don’t win your partner back because it’s bad. According to research, on-again off-again couples tare less satisfied in their relationships. Instead of grasping for ways to get back together (this is where Taylor Swift comes in), ponder who you’d like to be in your new life.
Resurrect (or reinvent) yourself.
Breakups wreak havoc with your routine, but that’s nothing compared to what they do to your sense of identify. Sometimes it can be really hard to know who you are if you’re not X or Y’s significant other. Yet Larson’s research shows that regaining a clear sense of selfafter a breakup is the key to moving on. Dusting off old hobbies and friendships, as well as sparking new ones, can be a big help.
Realize breakups make you stronger, whether you like it or not.
A 2007 study by Gary Lewandowski, a psychologist at Monmouth University and co-founder of a blog called Science of Relationships, was one of the first to focus on the plus side of breakups. Most of the young adults he interviewed said the breakup had helped them learn and grow, and that they felt more goal-oriented after splitting up. If you’ve started to recognize the lessons learned, it’s a good sign that you’re on the mend.
Get amnesia.
A study conducted at Purdue University looked at this problem in another way. Researchers measured the perceived difficulty of football players and their field goal performance. Participants who made more successful kicks perceived the field goal posts to be farther apart and perceived the crossbar to be closer to the ground compared with participants who made fewer kicks. The more kicks that were missed left or right of the target, the narrower the field goal posts looked.
